The BullyĪ new student arrives at boating school and the ever friendly Spongebob tries to be his friend. The friends turn themselves in for theft, only to learn they stole the balloon ON FREE BALLOON DAY. “You ate my only food, now I’m gonna starve” He accuses Spongebob of stealing his candy bar. Patrick immediately eats his and immediately forgets that he did it. While camping out the pair discovers two candy bars are their only food. Spongebob and Patrick steal a balloon and go on the lamb as criminals. Seeing the thoughtful gifts Spongebob got others, Patrick has a breakdown with his best line coming at the expense of the carnival’s heart mascot yelling “I defy you heart man!” before tearing the poor bastard in two. To keep the secret Spongebob brings Patrick to the carnival and eventually has to pretend his gift is a hardy handshake. The only problem? It’s running late, and Patrick is getting impatient. It’s Valentine’s Day in Bikini Bottom and Spongebob has the perfect gift for Patrick, a hot air balloon made of pure chocolate. Eventually he gets the paper done only to find out the deadline was pushed back a day, a dick move by Mrs. At one point it seems like he’s gotten the creative juices flowing, only to find that he spends several minutes writing the word “the”. Faced with writing a paper for boating school about what not to do at a stoplight Spongebob procrastinates all night long. I was once one of the greatest procrastinators of all time, but my skills were rivaled by Spongebob in this episode. The PaperĪnyone who has gone to school knows the struggle of writing a paper you have zero motivation to do. There’s also a great bit where Patrick can’t figure out where the lid on a jar is. “Is this the Krusty Krab?” “No this is PATRICK!…I am not a Krusty Krab”. So obviously that leads him to Spongebob’s place of work where he answers the phones. While trying to win an award he copies everything Spongebob does. One of Patrick’s most memorable moments comes when he gets a job at the Krusty Krab. Spongebob eventually pops the arms trying to actually lift weights on the beach. The funnies part is the commercial itself that asks how big of arms do you want “veiny? or for the ladies, hairy”. He eventually sees a commercial for “anchor arms” a product that creates the illusion of unit arms. In attempts to prove he’s tough he tries to lift weights (stuffed animals on a barbell), but finds no success. Hanging out with Sandy and her swoll delts and rock hard biceps discovers that he is a bit of a wimp. Spongebob sings one of his signature songs “Indoors” with help from penny (that penny has a beautiful voice), but eventual he is forced outside to help his friends who are being attacked by an underwater gorilla. Despite pleas from Sandy and Patrick, Spongebob is content with his new indoor life with his new friends that includes a used napkin, a penny and a chip. Faced with the reality that another accident could lead to a life in the “iron butt” (seen above) he secludes himself to his home. It starts with Spongebob breaking his butt while sandboarding with Sandy. Spongebob faces the reality that anyone can get hurt, or even die at anytime, and learns to live his life without fear. This leads to a freakout by Spongebob and he learns to just accept his Grandma’s kisses no matter how embarrassing. Patrick immediately caves and accepts all of Grandma’s love. Spongebob seeks out Patrick to help him be more mature, and the two “grow” sideburns and learn to appreciate free-form jazz. That means no more kisses, but also means no more cookies. To remedy this he tells his grandma he no longer wants to be babied. Spongebob becomes concerned when he learns that people consider him to be a baby when they see him getting kissed on the forehead by his grandmother. It’s really hard to pick the very best, but you really can’t go wrong no matter what episode is your favorite. In my opinion the first three seasons of Spongebob have some of the best cartoon moments in history. Spongebob debuted in 1999 when I was seven years old and to this day I quote the show in my everyday life. For the sake of my sanity I’ve limited this MOCK to 50 picks. In memory of “Spongebob Squarepants” creator Stephen Hillenburg this week’s MOCK will see every Spongebob episode up for grabs.
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